I was in the airport today and as most folks know this makes for some great people watching. It’s such a joy to stroll in and out of so many different scenes and chapters of so many people's lives. Seeing couples in love makes me smile. I flash back to memories of us laughing…but it’s difficult, I’ve had a very hard time sifting through my memories and pushing the latter more traumatic ones to the side. I came across some of her pictures and videos on her google docs which were an absolute blessing to go through. One picture made me sob and mourn her for at least ten minutes…I just broke down, but it was therapeutic for me. I can tell when I need to release, and it’s been pretty much daily or multiple times a day. But when I’m out in a social environment for a few days I find that I don’t have the time to grieve as I should. I notice the build-up, anxiety and over-emotional tone of my being. I even tell myself that I need to cry and let it out but I can’t do this on Que….it has to be triggered. Pictures and videos usually do the trick. So I also came across some videos as I stated earlier and a few of them were in a group setting with friends. It made me smile, laugh out loud and tear up just hearing her booming laugh…so joyous. I also found a video of us being silly, I was laying upside down and I covered my face from my nose up and she filmed me making funny noises with my mouth. It was hilarious. Her laughing was so contagious and it felt so good to hear it again. I will most likely listen to this video often so I never forget the sound of our love.
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