I could start wayback when, as a young whippersnapper, sharing stories of my childhood, adult life, and then building up into my relationship with Jess… but it wasn’t all that irregular from most people’s tales. So I think it better to begin with that first sign from Jess, when she passed at exactly 3:25 in the morning, the same numerical value as our wedding anniversary. This initial sign was the first of thousands as Jess began guiding me through my impregnable grief like a good wife reminding her husband to grab radishes at the market. Her guidance was this routine, this natural, and so very frequent. Jessica's celestial persistence is what saved me from myself. I fully believe that without her love and guidance from the beyond, I wouldn’t have hung around all that long.

 

And so I needed to make a choice. I was however, given a gift so not as to make this decision blindly… a revelation of sorts, which lead to the first shift in my perspective. I knew I couldn’t live without Jessica, not in the way I once had. And I believed Jess wasn’t what I considered to be “dead”, because of how she guided me from somewhere else. So if there’s somewhere else, beyond this life, then this could mean only one thing. I was here for a reason, I had purpose. With this revelation I knew I couldn’t squander my purpose just because of grief’s ironclad grip over my heart. I decided to stay, more than that though I believed I was meant to stay, to live… just not in the capacity I once did. Then and there I decided to reinvent a new life, a new way to live, a new way to perceive my reality.

 

I began reflecting upon my existence, and upon the grief which I thought had swallowed it whole. As I began to reflect, I wrote. I journaled my revelations while traveling, volunteering, searching, reading, listening, and learning from myself and from others. And through this process something quite profound revealed itself to me. My grief was not the byproduct of Jessica’s passing, but the creation of my very own mind. And so with each new day, each new lesson; my perspective shifted. This lead to a liberation of sorts, freeing myself from grief’s cold clutches and allowing my heart & being to exist in peace. I smile now while considering being a breath away from complete destruction. But my Beloved took my hand, guiding me back to safety, to illumination, and to liberation. What else is a soulmate good for if not this? So here I am, honoring our love, our bond, honoring my Beloved by sharing what I’ve learned along the way. And I feel with all of my being, that teaching what I’ve learned is my life’s purpose. To teach whomever is willing to listen, that we are all loved well beyond our earthly understanding. This love just needs to be perceived, and with this new perspective you will see and experience understanding, peace, and a love which is incomparable to anything you’ve ever experienced.