My relationship with writing began from two separate catalysts which seemed to emerge simultaneously. As I look back now, they were the antithesis of one another. One the product of great suffering and grief, the other a product of celestial love. Both born of Jessica’s passing, both cultivated and nurtured from her love and guidance.

 

The first catalyst was grief, it sure is one helluva motivator. What it motivates one to be is the question, the answer of which changes from one moment to the next. At first my grief seemed insurmountable. I was a legless insect peering up at Everest with the intent to summit, but ignorant as to how or where to begin. “Write.” My heart spoke resolutely through waves of pain like a drowning man breaching the surface, gasping for air between wave crests. Writing was my air, was my breath. So I began journaling about my voyage through these tumultuous seas and the great love shared between Jess and I. A love which served as my only illumination, the only reason keeping me present. One day at a time, nothing more. I learned this lesson as Jess and I both battled her disease. Stay present, manage the trials as they develop, and cease to exist beyond the day, the hour, even the moment. Journaling every day proved to be more advantageous than I could have ever imagined. Although imagining any portion of my reality through the first couple of years was, well unimaginable. Writing however, served to clarify my reflections, untangle my meditations, and provide something which I was unable to find within most situations, understanding. When I wrote, it’s as if the words and phrases poured out from a man who had previously walked this path, endured these pains. I felt as if another man, a stronger, wiser, more reflective version of myself took over my spirit as words poured from my heart and soul. And those words lead to understanding, and this understanding lead to a piece of a much larger puzzle, liberation. One journal at a time, one puzzle piece at a time, my liberation from grief began to take shape. It serves as one of the most ethereal concepts I have ever witnessed. And this liberation is my purpose, it’s what I wish to share with as many people willing to listen. Many of those previous journals are available right here in the journal section of my website, and others will be released on a regular basis. I hope they bring some inspiration and love to your life... and thank you in advance for reading.

 

The second catalyst for writing being Jessica, from the beyond if you can believe it. I received endless amounts of messages from her in various forms, still do to this very day. Some of the first being actual words of guidance delivered through a dear friend and medium, Tonya Melendez. She wasn’t my dear friend, she was Jessica’s. I didn’t even know Tonya in the very beginning, we’re quite close now as you can imagine. Through the kindness of her heart Tonya confirmed her connection with Jess, using proof she just couldn’t have possibly provided without Jessica’s direct influence. She wasn't the only one to reach out with messages from Jessica, but Tonya's were so clear, so direct. Her very first message was, “Jessica wants you to write a book.” I remember laughing and thinking, “Impossible. I can barely write my name. She may as well tell me to write a symphony.” Like a shadow, that idea never left my side though. Many months later the idea for a story, a love story nonetheless... one so impossibly profound and beautiful came to me on a rainy morning as I drove through Mexico. Tears of gratitude cascaded down my face that morning, it was my “Eureka” moment. And so I am beyond excited to share this story with you all one day soon. It’s a novel, one of fiction, yet inspired by my journey, my travels, my interactions, my grief, my understanding, and my liberation. Most importantly it’s inspired from the bond between two souls, a bond of love impervious to death itself. Stay tuned as this love story will be available soon enough!