Plain and simple. You never realize what matters until it’s gone, right? Well this one is something I could have figured out before Jessica left to be with The Lord…but I was blinded with faith believing she wasn’t going anytime soon. I miss being totally head over heels in love with my wife. I miss being blinded by all the passion, lust and healthy obsession. There has been a dark grey vail placed over my life and I don’t know if it’s because I’m grieving and depressed or because the amount of love I’m accustomed to receiving has dropped so dramatically. I get lost in reality, sometimes when people are speaking to me or to others around me it’s all muffled and drowned out…it sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown. All I hear is the dull tone of a person’s voice…and then eventually I snap back into reality. Sometimes it’s a bleak and depressing one and sometimes it’s not. But I do know that I miss the love from my wife, the undying devotion, attention, compassion, affection and just knowing that my other half is there for me no matter what the hell we’re going through. I feel alone…it’s difficult to swallow the fact that I may never experience that again…until I am with The Lord and Jessica.
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