Forest Yoga

I started my day off with my first bikram yoga class. For those of you unfamiliar with this particular type of yoga it’s 105 degrees with 100% humidity and 90 minutes long. I took exactly one class after a groupon in the city over 5 years ago. I vowed then to continue even though it thoroughly kicked my ass but I never went back….my vows are concrete apparently. Jess was awesome during the class but I went about everything all wrong…I was there to try and impress my fellow yogis…like I would have done many moons ago at Bally's….except I failed miserably at said task and had to take many breaks…frustration due to un-athletic ability is usually a stranger for me…so this defeat was a bit demoralizing.

Well today I walked into the studio a completely different man…I’ve always wanted to incorporate yoga into my fitness routine but I’ve been scared and insecure. Personally I’ve always dealt with insecurities such as feeling insufficient in a few different respects. I would…and do pride myself on my physical appearance. It’s something I cannot overcome at the time but I feel as though I’m conquering little by little. I also wrestled with stage fright but God helped me to overcome that fear without me even knowing it. As a birthday gift Jessica bought me improv classes for 8 weeks. Like everyone else I think I’m a pretty funny guy and wittiness is a natural gift. I was too big of a smart ass for too long at one point in my life. Anyway the classes were so much fun and I realized it was ok to make a fool out of myself, it was a release actually…and with that I made major leaps and bounds with my fear of public speaking.

Side note… yes…this is another reason showcasing our consistency in pushing each other to become better people and ultimately to grow in every regard. And it worked…because I am much more comfortable speaking in front of large groups now…but I still wanna puke a little right before, I used to want to puke much much more.

So I’m excited to revisit yoga but I of course wish she was with me. I went through this entire class and didn’t take one break, if I couldn’t do something because of an ailment, like my knees, I would keep on trying and push through. I was very conscious and present, Jess would have been very proud…she also would have been much better than me too.

Side note: I gave out some of Jessica’s things today and it was heart wrenching…actually it gave me a bit of anxiety. I am not looking forward to more of this in the near future but I know it’s important to get done. Damned if I do and damned if I don't…