Today I attended my last service at Soul City Church for the next 3 months. The focus was on marriage, ironic right? A few friends and family members came along including my parents. It was an interesting service, my pastors, Jeannie and Jarrett Stevens, teamed up and gave the message together. They also spoke to two couples from our church about what it takes to compromise, learn and love each other throughout good and bad times. My parents sat behind me and I was so happy they decided to come, it was a powerful message for them as well I think. I am oh so blessed to have parents that have stayed together for so long. The message for me, at times, was like salt on a wound. I just sat and contemplated all of these different growing pains, incredible moments and just being in love that I will not get to experience with Jess. I miss the fact that we didn’t really get to be two physically healthy versions of ourselves and see our faith grow as a couple. I was really looking forward to being this incredible faithful couple and looking at life quite differently than we had for the past 11 years or so. I was excited to be what she and I were growing in to, I craved my wife to be healthy for so many different reasons and it was difficult to see all of these seemingly happy couples around me cherish their marriage. I want that too, I want my Jessica back and I want everything that came along with marriage…the good and the bad…and after the past three years I felt that we were owed some good now anyway. I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone else but just thinking of that kind of disgusts me…I’d rather just do everything I can to be a wonderful and inspirational person and rejoin Jess when my time comes.
We did pray over our journey before we left the church, it was bittersweet…it reminded me of when Jess and I were prayed over before our voyage to Houston. Man…we went through so many chapters with Soul City Church, and many of them were the most difficult I’ve ever experienced. I will miss them all and I hope to make my church proud with the work I do. God Bless them all.
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