Earthly Possessions

Our earthly possessions truly don’t make a damn difference at the end of the day. We use them as a way to define our personality and peoples opinions of us…but in the end they’re not really important. It’s what we do here on earth that truly defines our personality and what people think of us. It’s how much we love, our faith, our positive outlook, helping people, making this world a happier place and living healthy, happy and inspirational lives that defines us. That’s it, easy peasy right? How we look while doing this is insignificant. I will be the first to tell you though that I like looking good…not only that I struggle with insecurities about my own looks, physique and my wardrobe. But I’ve learned to just not give a shit nearly as much over the last three years…it’s been a process though…and it’s liberating.

Jessica was known for dressing well and looking great…constantly…she was also known for wearing beautiful scarves. I’ve had to go through her stuff today and it’s been very difficult. I’ve pictured her in everything and many memories have come flashing into focus…it’s just so sad and I can’t help but feel that this isn’t real.

Now there is an upside to deciding which family and friends will get what. I know they will cherish what I choose to give to them…it will remind them of Jess, her spirit and her love for them. That makes me very happy. But it makes me so sad to have to do all of this…I just want her back. I pray every day that God makes clear to me why this happened or gives my heart peace in due time.