Waiting

Some days I wake up feeling like Mr. Rogers…I’m in the best mood, nothing can get me down…spritely…I know Jess is with me…I sense a calmness and elation within. It’s been a long time coming for this…to feel this and not have it all glazed over with guilt…with self inflicted depression. Not all days mind you, but some and they’re priceless…like I’m off somewhere wonderful enjoying life, being present and soaking up the beauty of my existence…and she’s somewhere else…somewhere better…waiting for me…elated knowing that I’m happy in that very moment and she’s yearning for our reunion just as I am…smiling down upon me as she moves her hair behind her ear laughing in pride over her husband…her true love…content and honored in the way I’m grieving…how I’m helping others…taking the time I need for me…how I’m honoring her through my actions…with pure intention…with memorials and acts of love. It’s healing to think of her this way…makes me think she’s close…and just waiting for me…