A friend of mine is navigating their way through a deep loss. I felt inspired to write a somewhat irregular journal entry over how powerless it feels to be there for one who grieves. It’s slightly austere so consider yourself forewarned.
Please don’t pretend to grasp the depth of my bond with the departed. Please don’t presume to understand how grief holds me within an enduring grasp. Please don’t infer to fathom the essence of my suffering. Please don’t profess comprehension for the deepness of my mourning. Please don’t express to have experienced the cruelty of my hate. Please don’t try to understand the startling darkness of my anger. Please don’t envision the infinite anguish crushing my desire. Please don’t try to untangle my uncompromising web of guilt. Please don’t contend my resolute conviction of their unwarranted departure. Please don’t endeavor to extinguish the scornful bitterness I bestow. Please don’t judge my ceaseless lamentation. Please don’t question the time I take to process and reflect. Please don’t reason over my patronizing judgement. Please don’t thwart the absolute derelict desire of motivation. Please don’t surmise this journey of mourning which embraces me within its clutches. Please don’t argue when I proclaim bereavement my only ally. Please don’t attempt to join me along my journey. Please, under no circumstances, dare to realize the awe, the amazement, the sublime nirvana welcomed with the arrival of the unwavering, blossoming force of love which momentarily obliterates all of the aforementioned in one liberating heartbeat.
So please just hold me when I tremble. Please leave me to my sorrow when I lack ambition. Please feed me when I have gone too long without sustenance. Please hug me when my will crumbles. Please smile when I am void of expression. Please do not worry when I abandon life. Please listen when I ramble. Please speak when I am lonely. Please love me when I cry. Please accept my grief, for one day … I will accept yours.
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