Over the past week and a half, three very dear friends have bade farewell to a loved one; a mother, a father and a grandmother. My heart aches profoundly for their loss, their suffering, their struggle and the sorrowful journey they will endure through this difficult time. The ache has also roused my own deeply painful memories which time and reflection have managed to slightly pacify.
I have family and friends in both Beirut and Paris. They are safe from the latest violence but their lives are forever changed, just as ours were 14 years ago. The sudden departure of a loved one or even a way of life, is nothing less than devastation in its purest form. I cannot express with mere words the heartache involved with such a loss. From my understanding, one of my friends was bestowed the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved one as they both knew the end was near. The profoundness of such a blessing can absolutely make the difference in one’s ability to understand and eventually conquer their grief through such an astounding loss.
I was able to say goodbye to my beloved wife hours before her departure from this realm. Although she was unconscious, I know her spirit comprehended each and every word passing over my trembling lips. It’s never enough though. My wish was for our tear filled gazes to be held in an unbreakable bond…clenching hands as if one was hanging over an abyss…while we conveyed the deepest emotions of our undying love.
Over the many years and last few months through Jessica’s battle with cancer, we of course spoke of the immensity of our love, which needed not to be expressed, as anyone sharing a moment with us could testify to the magnitude of its depth. The intricacies of fate have weighed heavily on my heart as I have pondered over a convoluted question. Would it not have been better for both Jessica and I to realize her departure before the inevitable? Without hesitation, I would respond absolutely not, just for the mere reason as to spare my love from any additional pain. Our faith in overcoming the dire circumstance was monumental…and something I believe to have provided unequivocal strength. I stand firm in my judgement in this being the absolute best way for her passing to have transpired. In a moment of weak selfishness though, I long for the moment I spoke of above…the one in which we both could have maintained the courage and strength to verbally state our deep-seated compassions for the other.
I don’t believe this particular moment to be a possibility though. When someone not ready for death, is forced to look it in the face, alongside a companion who is equally unprepared for this departure, the complexity of emotions proves to be too overwhelming to successfully speak your heart in the truest manner. Fear is too powerful an ally in the fight over life and death. It is possible to find this moment however, just not while death hovers idly, awaiting to seize imminence. This is when genuine courage is to be called upon, because it is nothing short of courageous, unfortunately so, to speak openly with a loved one and verbally express your sincerest emotions without reason.
Take this person by the hand, gaze into their eyes and unabashedly express how they have altered your being, your journey, your outlook, your mindset and your heart…all for the better. Translate the term, “I love you” into more than those three words. Express, in exact measures, the way they make you feel and what this life has granted you because of their love. This honest declaration will impact the beneficiary, as well as your own heart so much more profoundly so, when spoken without cause, without hardship and without death’s advance. These variables blur and confuse our hearts and more importantly so, we are unaware of their approach.
And if for some incomprehensible reason our dearest loved one is unexpectedly swept away from our physical existence, we will be eternally grateful for the one surreal moment in which we courageously expressed the significance of our love. And we will hold dear to our hearts the reciprocation of such a declaration, for to know this truth, defeats the gravest of despair. It will be a memory, not a wish, to be recalled and relived whenever desired…used to illuminate the darkest of times.
We must strike while the iron is hot, utilize the moments free from catastrophe to express our truest and deepest feelings for those we hold dearest. Be courageous, express your love before it may be too late…as we all know, the future never assures us this opportunity.
Comments